Back Pain

Back pain is something that I am familiar with. When I was 17 I was thrown from a horse into the trunk of a tree (at full gallop). I crushed a vertebrae in my back. But things healed up fairly well and most of my life I have had few issues with my back.

Then 4 years ago I fell off a ladder putting away our lawn mower on a high shelf in our garage.... (yah,... don't ask!) and broke six ribs. Believe me, you don't want to break ribs! They hurt incredibly every time you breath!

But since that time I occasionally get significant pain in my neck, back, right shoulder/arm area. And the past two weeks the pain has been consistent running from my upper back down my right arm into my elbow joint. And it is really difficult to work any length of time in front of a computer without taking a break to apply heat and to lie down.

Basically it sucks!

But the thing I keep thinking about (beyond the pain, that it) is that God knows me completely. He knows my thoughts, my desires, my ambitions, my fears. He knows everything I go through. He knows the joy I feel as I spend time with my grandchildren. And he knows the pain I feel when my muscles spasm and I can no longer type without pain. And with each pain comes a reminder of God with me - in my joys and in my pain.

I have friends who have lived with much more physical pain in their lives than I have. And yet, there seems to be joy there that percolates to the surface in spite of it. God seems to give the ability to exude joy through the pain (and its not that they want the pain in some masochistic way). One person told me that thinking about how much Christ suffered for him on the cross makes it easier to see past the pain and to work through it.

I'm not sure I WANT to learn that lesson! I want relief! And I've been to a chiropractor, a massage therapist and tomorrow I go to a physiotherapist - all in an effort to find relief from pain that lasts. But this experience has again drawn me to think about the Creator - the One who knows me intimately and knit me together in my mother's womb.

And I thought of the Psalmist - who had the ability to acutely understand the heart of God.

Psalms 139:13-16 says:

¹³ You made my whole being;
    you formed me in my mother’s body.
¹⁴ I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way.
    What you have done is wonderful.
    I know this very well.
¹⁵ You saw my bones being formed
    as I took shape in my mother’s body.
   When I was put together there,
¹⁶ you saw my body as it was formed.
    All the days planned for me
    were written in your book
    before I was one day old.

God give me the grace to see the wonder in how integrate you have made me - even when, sometimes, I only become aware of how integrate I have been made when my body experience pain.

(I just pray that I will remember this when You finally give me relief! PLEASE!!!)