Dignity in a Toilet Stall

I was meeting a donor friend of mine for lunch at one of my favourite restaurants - Boston Pizza - yeah, Cactus Cut Potatoes!

But I digress...

After we finished lunch I excused myself to do nature's work. I was in one of the two stalls and I heard a father helping his son to also do nature's work in the next stall over. He was kind and compassionate. He was patient and encouraging.

But when we met up at the sink, I saw that it wasn't a father with his young son. It was a middle-aged son with his very elderly father. The elderly man didn't seem to have verbal skills (perhaps because of a stroke) and was very slow moving - needing help with washing his hands. And the words of encouragement, the patient tones, the kindness and compassion all of a sudden took on a whole different dynamic.

I had the overwhelming desire to hug this faithful son - this servant!

Would I do that for my father? Absolutely!

Would I do it for someone else's father?  Uuuuh......?

As a father and a grandfather I have had, and continue to have, much experience in caring for and nurturing those much younger than I. But I realized at that moment that maybe I wasn't fully prepared to serve another elderly non-family member in the same way.

But as I thought about it, I realized that no adult wants to have to depend on another person to look after them. We learned from the time we were children to do things on our own. And most of us don't like the humiliation of having to ask for help - especially with the simple things of life.

But sometimes we don't have the option to refuse. And sometimes people, like this elderly man, need people who are willing to help us - with dignity and understanding - to accomplish the basics of life.

God help me to treat with dignity those who can no longer help themselves. Help me, like this younger man, give the patient and kind service to those who need it.

Shunning A Culture of Criticism

I was at the National Worship Leaders Conference in Leawood, KS last week. Tuesday morning Ian Morgan Cron spoke about God convicting him about buying into a culture of criticism. And how this culture of criticism had become more and more pervasive in his attitude towards the church.  He confessed that he rather liked being critical about the church and defended its necessity in keeping the church relevant.

But God had convicted him that he was just lazy. Because it is easier to point out the flaws of the church, work, the government... anything... than to work towards the improvement of it.

And I was convicted.

Are there things the church could do better? Absolutely! Are there things that it needs to stop doing? Without a doubt!

But God's question to Ian, and to me, needs to be considered, "Will are you continually speak ill of the body that I love and gave myself for or work to help to build her into the radiant bride I envision?"

Ian referenced Francis of Assisi who lived in a time when the condition of the church was deplorable. If anyone had the right to critique the condition of the church it was Francis. And yet God told him that he needed to love the church and work towards its perfection - not towards its demise. In fact, in the monastic order he began, no monk was allowed to speak ill of the church - only to work towards its betterment.

"But those who prophesy are speaking to people to give them strength,

 encouragement, and comfort" 

1 Corinthians 14:3 (NCV) 

And in 25 years the church had been revolutionized, restored, revived. Because it was loved even in its ugliness...

So the question I find myself pondering is; do I want to work towards the reviving of the church?
... it is much easier to critic her than to build her up.

But Jesus loves his church - as ugly and dysfunctional that it is (and we all are) at times. And if Jesus is patient and forgiving in his love, can I do any less?  

Laying Blame

It is always easier to lay blame than to take responsibility. That way we divert unwanted attention from us to others.

That became very clear to me a few weeks ago. I had been invited to speak in Latin America. I had agreed to come at my own cost. All I asked for was transportation to and from the airport, 2 or 3 meals a day and a place to sleep. I was promised that would be no problem. In fact I was told that I was booked into a large church in the capital city on Sunday morning and they would take a love offering for my ministry - to help defray the costs.

Things were different when I arrived, however. I ended up paying for the transportation to and from the airport and some of the food There was nothing booked in the capital for Sunday and the revised plans changed by the hour. I also ended up helping out another young believer who had been left with broken promises as well - and no money for the bus fare home.

I have learned to be flexible - especially when working with people from other cultures. However, the man who was responsible for the things he promised me ended up trying to divert the blame onto other people. He never offered an apology for things falling apart. He just pushed the blame on others.

And can I really blame him? Wouldn't most of us be tempted to do the same thing? I know that I have done that at times as well.

But when things don't work out the way we wanted them to or hoped they would, I can't think of too many people who wouldn't accept my apology - taking responsibility for my own failure. Christian brothers and sisters are often eager to forgive when there is ownership and humility expressed. It is a part of following Jesus that we understand that we all fall short.

Can I forgive the man? It took a few days, but yes, I did forgive him. But it certainly doesn't make me want to work with him again.

Owning up to our own responsibility takes guts. It sometimes hurts. It sometimes costs us - emotionally, financially, relationally, etc. But is far healthier and far more honest than to blame others. That just makes us look more like a bully.

So, when things go wrong... don't pass the blame.

Humble yourself. Take responsibility.

The end result is far better than! And it reflects the character of Jesus.